I'm pretty disappointed in myself. Since Wednesday I have been under the influence of at least something, with Adderall on Wednesday, something green and organic yesterday, and a combination of the two today. I haven't really had a clear thought since this morning, and that was soon ruined by hanging out with my friends, including Lil' May and Big Joe from the last post.
Let me tell you, combining drugs can have strange, intense consequences. At one moment, Lil' May... holy shit, hold that thought. I'm listening to NIN's Broken again, this time at full volume, and it is. Intense. Very. I've already used that adjective in this paragraph, but gah, it is. So loud and abusive. "Happiness In Slavery" is such a dark, painful song, but it is creepily groovy. Currently have that on.
Anyway, Lil' May handed me some blueberry muffin, and it just... I experienced what I considered the happiest moment of my life (sadly), describing it, if my memory serves me correct, as "if there was really a Force like in Star Wars in everything except instead of Force it was happiness, that bit of muffin was the center of it all and it was feeding my all the happy in the world." Then the rest of the day was me with my head down or lying down and not really responding to anyone with more than a sentence and being a bitch and telling people to stop touching me and talking to me. I am still in a shitty mood. A terribly shitty mood.
I have a fear that my brain has overproduced dopamine, and it must now recharge, leaving me in a state of shit. In fact, I have lost the will to write/type/describe. Goodbye.
Darn, what a bad, stupid, pictureless, depressing entry here.
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